TL;DR
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Tiny Buddha published an essay by psychotherapist Steve Hauptman about the limits of trying to get every part of life right at once. Drawing on personal examples, he argues that choices involve trade-offs and describes learning to see an unfinished task not automatically as failure, but as the cost of choosing something else.
Tiny Buddha has published an essay by psychotherapist and author Steve Hauptman arguing that people cannot meet every demand at once and may find it useful to accept the trade-offs involved. Hauptman builds the piece around his own competing responsibilities and a hospital visit, presenting the argument as personal reflection rather than research or clinical guidance.
Hauptman compares managing daily responsibilities to solving a Rubik’s Cube: focusing on one side can leave the others scrambled. He lists choices such as seeing clients or doing chores, spending time with family or working on a book, and socializing or watching his weight. His central point is that every “yes” contains a “no”, because time and attention are limited.
The essay describes three paradoxes Hauptman associates with efforts to control life: needing more control can leave a person feeling less in control; trying to control other people can provoke them to push back; and gaining control in one area can require giving some up elsewhere. These are Hauptman’s observations, illustrated with examples involving work, family, drinking and emotional strain. The article does not present them as findings from a study.
He says he once treated unfinished chores or other missed goals as evidence that he had failed. He now tries to interpret them as signs of choices made. As an example, he recounts a routine medical check in which a cardiogram showed a blip his doctor said could suggest a transient ischemic attack. Hauptman went to an emergency room, waited while tests were run and says he took a nap after cancelling six client sessions. The essay does not give the test results or a diagnosis.
The Cost of Trying to Do It All
The essay speaks to a familiar tension for readers balancing work, relationships, rest and personal goals: not every priority can be met at the same time. Hauptman’s framing offers a way to understand unfinished tasks as a consequence of limited time and chosen priorities, rather than automatic proof of personal failure.
That message is relevant as a perspective, not a guarantee of emotional or health benefits. The piece does not establish that accepting trade-offs will resolve stress, addiction or relationship problems, and it should not be read as medical advice. Its contribution is a personal account of how one writer has tried to respond differently to competing demands.
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Hauptman’s Rubik’s Cube Metaphor
Hauptman identifies himself as a psychotherapist and the author of Monkeytraps: Why We Try to Control Everything and How We Can Stop, published in 2015. The supplied author biography says the book examines attempts to control circumstances and the problems those efforts can create in people’s lives and relationships.
The essay opens with a quotation attributed to writer and teacher Sylvia Boorstein: “Well, this isn’t what I want, but it’s what I got, so okay.” Hauptman uses the thought to frame acceptance of circumstances that cannot be changed immediately. His Rubik’s Cube comparison returns throughout the piece, but his conclusion is that life is not a puzzle that must be perfectly solved on every side.
““Inside every ‘yes’ there’s a ‘no.’””
— Steve Hauptman, in the Tiny Buddha essay
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What the Essay Does Not Establish
The source is a personal essay, not a report of new research or a clinical recommendation. It does not provide evidence that the described approach works for everyone, nor does it define when a person should seek professional help for addiction, depression or other health concerns.
Hauptman’s hospital story is also incomplete as a medical account: he says a cardiogram blip suggested a possible transient ischemic attack and that he underwent tests, but the essay does not state their outcome, whether he received a diagnosis or what follow-up care was recommended. The source material does not specify when the essay was published.
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The Next Steps Are Personal
The essay sets out no policy change, scheduled event or follow-up announcement. Its immediate next step for readers is reflection: identify competing priorities, recognize what a choice sets aside and distinguish that trade-off from proof of failure. That is the approach Hauptman describes in his own life, not a prescribed program.
Readers with questions about a possible transient ischemic attack or other symptoms should rely on qualified medical professionals rather than the essay. The source gives no further update on Hauptman’s hospital tests or on the forthcoming revised edition of his book, so those developments remain unreported.
prioritization tools for busy professionals
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Key Questions
Who wrote “When You Can’t Get Everything Right at Once”?
Steve Hauptman, LCSW, wrote the essay published by Tiny Buddha. The supplied biography identifies him as a psychotherapist and author of Monkeytraps.
What is the essay’s main argument?
Hauptman argues that people cannot meet every demand simultaneously and that choosing one priority often means postponing another. He suggests that an unfinished task does not automatically mean someone has failed.
Does the essay report new scientific research?
No. The source is a personal reflection built on Hauptman’s experiences and examples. It does not cite a study establishing its claims as scientific findings.
What happened during Hauptman’s hospital visit?
Hauptman says a cardiogram during a routine physical showed a blip that his doctor said could suggest a transient ischemic attack. He went to an emergency room and underwent tests, but the essay does not report the results or a diagnosis.
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